It feels like it has been forever since I last came onto DA, so I thought I'd pay it a visit. A little update is in order I guess, but I just can't think of anything worth putting lol. I often find myself at crossroads, never sure which way to turn, not knowing whether one way would be best, but now I just feel like I don't care. I'm not really bothered where my life heads, just as long as it's going somewhere. It sounds like a bit of an odd statement to make, but my ambitions lately have just been to 'be'. I'm just floating around alot. Reading. Playing games. Cinema. Not been writing much, which is not good. I'm scared that I'm too busy floating around to realise that everyone else has made their choice and left, then there is just me standing, refusing to care.

This journal acts as my vent really. An outlet for something. That is what writing has always been for me. Some form of escape, a comfort. I always seem to resort to writing on this when I feel too awkward to talk to others. Sometimes I think I should see a professional. Lol. Not to sound too dramatic but I can really feel my ability to keep calm and collected fade. I'm just not sure how much I can take by myself. Things with my Mum are stressing me out, and I don't really have anyone to turn to. I can't really talk to mates about these things. Unfair. I just can't let the past lie, and it keeps following me, and making me paranoid and I really don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know whether these are normal thoughts to think. I don't know where I should draw a line, rethink, reanalysis. I'm so caught up in it all, I just don't know what I'm doing. I know, being dramatic... I need help... I don't know what I'm doing. Lol.