it's good to be able to just "be" sometimes. when you aren't sure what is right, pushing yourself to do something can be counter-productive. sometimes you gotta jsut let it go till you catch your perspective and see the right path.

don't worry if everyone else has left, other people will come along, the world is full of people and they come and go. but sometime they do stick with you even when you don't expect it and sometimes they come back when you least expect.

yeah DA journals are good for venting. I agree writing is an escape, so I guess being a creative writing student makes me sortof a professional escapist. An excuse to spend two more years just escaping, and make everyone else imagine I am doing something really ambitious 'cause I'm a graduate student and I get really good grades. but it's really just reading and writing...escape...

I can relate to what you say about not being able to talk to people. some things it's hard to talk about with people you interact with in real life, but hard to explain to someone who doesn't know you well.

:"professional help" can be helpful, sometimes, IF you can find someone who sorta specializes in the sort of issues you are faacing. personally, I never found professional help very helpful, cause my issues are too obscure.

I findInternet friends or friends I talk with on the telephone but not in daily life more helpful than professionals. (although right now I have few of those cause half of them I've offended, and some of the others don't have internet anymore, and I don't have time because I have school)

so I talk to my imaginary friends instead..I write...lol

you start with "I'm drifting, just being" and end with "rethink, analys, ...so caught up in it all"

sometimes it's good to just take a time out and write down everything and get perspective by seeing it on paper, like what matters most, and what's good and what's bad and what you need to do and what you want.

but on the other hand, if you've been over-thinking it, sometime it helps to jsut back off and escape and let things sort themselves a bit.

nobody REALLY knows what they are doing, we just pretend we do sometimes. it's okay not to know. we just make our best guess at any given time and then make the best of the consequences.

(you do realize what I wrote is just a collection of random thoughts, not intended as advice to be followed, but just randoms thoughts to perhaps inspire differant perspectives or something,and to show I cared enough to read what you wrote, and that I still care even though I have nothing much to share, right? )

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-------Jadis///...
"with God all things are possible"